It's been ages since i've posted something onto my blog . It has been pretty dead , in fact , super dead . Just felt the sudden urge to blog . It seems like blogging is definitely still the best way to pour out all your feelings . No , it isn't thrashing , just jotting down what you feel in your everyday life . I honestly don't know what has gotten into my head today . I've just been feeling so temperamental . I don't blame it on my PMS or whatsoever . Maybe it's just because all of a sudden , i feel so unappreciated . Yes , i was stupid enough to go down to your place , waiting for you for 5hours knowing that you'll be out with your mum . I could have just stayed at home and do my own things , could have used my time wisely to do something more useful . I'm not complaining anything at all , it was my own choice to come down and wait for you to be back . Though it really seems nothing to you , but it meant something to me . I was thinking ; Maybe i could give you a little surprise , after a day of duty last night and after a whole long day of walking around in JB , i could just be there to give you a little hug and spend some quality time with you . You made me feel like it was a wasted trip . I came down , waited and waited ... Not to watch you sleep . You told me you had your reasons . Yes , you're not at fault . I am a lousy girlfriend for not even understanding that you were tired . Yes , i'm a useless girlfriend . I couldn't do anything at all to help you , in fact i caused you more trouble , making you feel even more tired . Then who will be there to understand how i felt at that point of time ? I walked away , feeling a little pissed out . Though i am mad at you , i still care for you . Feeling so worried , if you had taken your dinner . No matter how mad i was , i still got you your favourite hotdog bun because you were on diet + all the shops were closed . I had to hurry my way down to BreadTalk just in case they were closing . Went in to search for hotdog buns like a hungry ghost . Even had to skipped my own dinner and ate a bread instead . Sitting at your void deck , eating a bread . Hoping and praying so hard you'll at least use your house phone to call me or even to just come down and talk to me . If you really feel that chasing after your own girlfriend is a waste of time , then why promise me you'll make me happy as long as it's within your means . That's not called making me happy . I know i am harsh with my words , but your words were worst . You make me feel like i was nothing to you at all , literally NOTHING and NO ONE . If you really loved me wholeheartedly , you would have at least made the effort to chase after me . If you don't even want to take the step of trying and you're giving up just like that . I have nothing to say to you at all . I'm sorry if i am not your ideal gentle girlfriend . You were right , i can never be gentle . I am not like the other girls who are so understanding to understand that their boyfriend is feeling tired after a long day . I am not as thoughtful as other girls . I'm sorry , i'm just so sorry for being so imperfect , for being so damn bloody useless . Sometimes i don't even think i deserve someone like you . I failed to your girlfriend . I'm sorry . Whatever it is , at least i know i tried my very best .
It's been ages since i've posted something onto my blog . It has been pretty dead , in fact , super dead . Just felt the sudden urge to blog . It seems like blogging is definitely still the best way to pour out all your feelings . No , it isn't thrashing , just jotting down what you feel in your everyday life . I honestly don't know what has gotten into my head today . I've just been feeling so temperamental . I don't blame it on my PMS or whatsoever . Maybe it's just because all of a sudden , i feel so unappreciated . Yes , i was stupid enough to go down to your place , waiting for you for 5hours knowing that you'll be out with your mum . I could have just stayed at home and do my own things , could have used my time wisely to do something more useful . I'm not complaining anything at all , it was my own choice to come down and wait for you to be back . Though it really seems nothing to you , but it meant something to me . I was thinking ; Maybe i could give you a little surprise , after a day of duty last night and after a whole long day of walking around in JB , i could just be there to give you a little hug and spend some quality time with you . You made me feel like it was a wasted trip . I came down , waited and waited ... Not to watch you sleep . You told me you had your reasons . Yes , you're not at fault . I am a lousy girlfriend for not even understanding that you were tired . Yes , i'm a useless girlfriend . I couldn't do anything at all to help you , in fact i caused you more trouble , making you feel even more tired . Then who will be there to understand how i felt at that point of time ? I walked away , feeling a little pissed out . Though i am mad at you , i still care for you . Feeling so worried , if you had taken your dinner . No matter how mad i was , i still got you your favourite hotdog bun because you were on diet + all the shops were closed . I had to hurry my way down to BreadTalk just in case they were closing . Went in to search for hotdog buns like a hungry ghost . Even had to skipped my own dinner and ate a bread instead . Sitting at your void deck , eating a bread . Hoping and praying so hard you'll at least use your house phone to call me or even to just come down and talk to me . If you really feel that chasing after your own girlfriend is a waste of time , then why promise me you'll make me happy as long as it's within your means . That's not called making me happy . I know i am harsh with my words , but your words were worst . You make me feel like i was nothing to you at all , literally NOTHING and NO ONE . If you really loved me wholeheartedly , you would have at least made the effort to chase after me . If you don't even want to take the step of trying and you're giving up just like that . I have nothing to say to you at all . I'm sorry if i am not your ideal gentle girlfriend . You were right , i can never be gentle . I am not like the other girls who are so understanding to understand that their boyfriend is feeling tired after a long day . I am not as thoughtful as other girls . I'm sorry , i'm just so sorry for being so imperfect , for being so damn bloody useless . Sometimes i don't even think i deserve someone like you . I failed to your girlfriend . I'm sorry . Whatever it is , at least i know i tried my very best .
CHERYL'ALEXIS , 18
Loved by the most caring man on Earth , Derrick
10:34 AM
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